for Nika, because I take requests

I've had a blog post requested. It's from one of my three readers, and since I would like to cater to my fans, I'll do it. I'm a little bit out of ideas at the moment, but google still solves everything, and has inspired this post. I shall merely go through the alphabet with google, and you, dear readers, will get my opinion on each item that comes up when I type in a single letter.

A) Air Canada: Picking airlines is always so difficult. Which is cheaper? Which flight has fewer connections? If I leave on a Monday, can I extend my trip a day? Is the alcohol included? Don't bother. Each and every airline will eventually screw you out of several thousand dollars and a few days of your life. You will miss a connection and have your luggage lost with all of them. Why not fly Air Canada?

B) BMO: This is a bank. Like airlines, banks will generally screw you, too. I'm not with BMO, but I'm sure they also have hidden fees. I hope C is better.

C) Canadian Tire: Not really. I have fond memories of going here with my dad when I was a kid. My sister and I would run through the aisles. Later in life, we bought an inflatable kiddie tub from this store which we then filled with jello and had people wrestle in during a memorable party. The pool held out.


D) Dictionary: Always useful. As a big Scrabble player, I know most of the two letter words in the English language. Not necessarily their definitions, though. The dictionary would probably help me with this, though probably not help my Scrabble score.

E) Ebay: A friend of mine recently sent me this link: http://cgi.ebay.com/VAMPIRE-TRANSFORMATION-SPELL-BECOME-AN-IMMORTAL-VAMPIRE_W0QQitemZ260654149233QQihZ016QQcategoryZ102517QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ht_1309wt_1137 It's a spell to turn into a vampire. Ebay - pick up your limited edition book AND immortality in easy one-stop shopping.

F) Facebook: Pictures of the jello party can be found there, and yet - the pictures don't demonstrate with any sense of reality how much jello had to be scrubbed off the ceiling the following morning.

G) Gmail: Recommended. I guess. This exercise isn't nearly as fun as I thought it'd be.

H) Hotmail: Google, come on!

I) Ikea: There we go! From the quirky commercials to the unexpected cafeteria to the questionable quality of the items to the guerrilla television show that storms random stores and films a soap opera in the model rooms, there is never a dull moment at Ikea! And the fun continues even after you've left! I've yet to meet someone who could understand the directions or assemble a piece of furniture without a few ambiguous-looking metal parts at the end of it all. Carry on, Ikea.

J) Job bank: I prefer Bank Job. I'd like to see George Clooney and Brad Pitt take on a bank next time. Though I admit casinos are more glamorous.

K) Kijiji: Fun to say. Kijiji, kijiji. KIJIJI! Oh! Look at how that looks in caps. KiJiJi. Fun to say, fun to type. kIjIjI.

L) Lotto max. I've never won, but think of all the time I'd have to blog if I did.

M) Mapquest: Sounds like a video game.

N) NHL: National Hockey League. True fact - this is the first year the Hockey Hall of Fame has admitted women hockey players. Angela James and Cammi Granato.

O) OSAP: Acronyms. How I love you. This one is, of course, Oologists for Safer Ash-breasted Antbird Pens.

P) Paypal: Frankly, I am intrigued by the second hit that came up: Pirate Bay. Is this in fact that last refuge of pirates that Captain Sparrow was searching for? ... No, never mind, it's a downloading site.

Q) Quotes: One of my favourites being - "We are all living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde.

R) Rogers: I will offer a piece of personal truth - not one, but TWO $500 back to back cell phone bills. The fall of 2007 ended up being my own personal depression.

S) Skype: Fun to say, okay to type. Skype to type ain't ripe.

T) Taupe: The word of the day on Septembe 25, 2008 according to Wiktionary.com

U) Utube: Is this a new website trying to make money off the vastly popular Youtube? Or does this show up because that many people have incorrectly typed "utube" into the search box while looking for Youtube? Inquiring minds can't be bothered to google further. ... Okay, turns out they can. It's a similar site. Which suggests to me that the site wanted to take advantage of option #2.

V) Via rail: I once read great erotica set on a train...

W) Walmart: The jello in story "C" was subsequently purchased here. When buying jello in bulk, every cent counts. Walmart had the best deal we could find, and we still spent $80 on jello.

X) Xbox: I hear they're making a movie based on the popular Xbox game "Halo". It's about soldiers and aliens and shooting. I feel the theme song to said movie should be "Halo" by Beyonce. Picture the carnage to that zealous ballad. I'd even buy two tickets to make up for the fact that the movie would make 20 bucks.

Y) Youtube: You know, I called this one before I even looked it up. Google has failed me with random interesting hits. I am officially putting all my faith into the last letter of the alphabet. Oh why didn't I have something better to do with my evening?

Z) Zellers: Zellers. That's it. I am outrageously disappointed with the inane things people look up en masse on google. All right, readers, as a group - TAUPE. Look it up.


Your turn.